Kismet
by JejuneStar
Summary: If all is fair in love and war then why does Usagi seem to be stuck in a life suspended by destiny's hold? Will she ever get to feel normal again? A story about how one girl fights for the thing she loves most despite the past and future going against her
1. Chapter 1

Kismet JejuneStar

Chapter One

Note to Readers: Please enjoy the story, there may be some risqué scenes and occasional fowl language so rating it T to M to be safe, keep in mind that since this is a Seiya/Usagi story that there may be some shoujo-ai. All comments and critiques are welcome. This is my first published fanfiction on this site, I really hope you like it!

Would like to take a poll on whether to use Japanese or English names… since the final season never made it to our shores and I don't like the way the manga translates Usagi's name into Bunny, I'll go with the Japanese names for now, but if everyone would prefer English I do not mind changing them.

Kismet: (noun) destiny, fate,

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon

"Damn it, Sieya!" Usagi huffed as she paced back and forth trying to uncover some nerves. There had to be some backbone somewhere, right? She was Sailor Moon for fuck's sake. She shouldn't be cowering at the thought of a few words with one of her former classmates; she had saved the world time and time again.

But, somehow, this pep talk was getting her nowhere and she was struck with fear that the door to the dressing room would open soon, leaving her unprepared. Paranoia grabbed hold of her body and directed her to the abandoned hallway nearby in order to collect herself.

Endless questions in her mind competed, one racing past every few seconds before answers could ever hope to be found. Questions like "Why in the hell is she here? What is she doing? Who did she think she is? When did she revert back to her old ways of acting on impulse? Where did these feelings come from?" collected on top of each other in her head, growing dangerously close to overwhelming her like a losing game of Tetris.

Nervous energy that was keeping her from reaching calm and still, her frantic heartbeat from slowing, her excitement continuously boiling inside her only served to continue her confusion. Need to see his blue eyes, to laugh along side him again, this urge to talk, and yet not say a single word for fear he might fly away again pressed her forward.

"Again" she whispered. He left once before, just as Mamoru had. Only his absence was longer…Much longer, an _eternity _longer it was beginning to feel like, and thus completely unforgivable.

As these realizations bombarded Usagi's mind, one truth began to ring clear throughout her entire being. She had clearly underestimated the enemy. The potential damages of her thoughts and her approaching actions was only increasing, and, despite being the solider of love and justice, neither were on her side today. This was _unfair. _Though, when it came to him, nothing was logical and nothing was evenhanded. Maybe, if she could just work through this rationally, perhaps…

A long sigh filled the momentary silence. Frustration began to crackle in the air; unease seeped from her being.

_Classmate_, sure… Of course, that wasn't all he was otherwise she wouldn't be having this conversion with herself. He was the person that was making her on edge. He, the person that drove her to randomly show up at this television network uninvited and unannounced, forcing her to stoop as low as to extort her disguise powers pen to sneak past the employees. He was the _enemy_.

He, Seiya Kou, was not only a member of one of Japan's most popular bands, Three Lights, but also secretly Sailor Star Fighter, a dependable alien ally who had proved herself countless times in battle. Which of course, brought up a whole other debate about what Usagi was feeling.

What exactly _was_ Seiya? In normal, civilian life Seiya was the lead in a boy band, but when an enemy presented itself he transformed into the fearless, female scout. So, Seiya was a hermaphrodite? No, that wasn't right… Seiya or Fighter, whichever came first, was never in between and always distinctly male or female. This idea left Usagi stumbling to explain to even herself her motives behind her thoughts and actions. Which of course made it all the more wrong, didn't it? The fact that she had these feelings towards someone whose gender she couldn't even be sure of, could only be thought of as questionable even without the fact that it defied her encroaching destiny.

_Destiny_,how she'd come to hate that word, learned to loathe how it brought the rushing force of time against her. It had been a little over three years since the day they had parted ways on the rooftop of her high school. Three years of her friends shoving their ideas of providence down her throat. Three years of struggling to breathe under the weight of her preordained life.

Graduated and in college, Usagi had busied herself with taking all the necessary groundwork courses for any degree, attempting to staunch the flow of pressure of her friends and fate. She had realized after the battle with Galaxia that her future had changed, and thus, avoidably, so had she.

Her boyfriend Mamoru was working on his residency at the local hospital and was all but consumed with his progress. The outer planet soldiers continued to hover, afraid of the now different future, fearing that chaos would wreak havoc again one day. The inner planet soldiers, Usagi's closest friends, were busy attempting to attain their human, their _normal_ dreams. Makoto was in culinary school, perfecting her skills in order to make her future cake and floral shop successful. Minako, directly after graduating, returned to idol auditions and was soon signed. Rei had taken over the shrine for her grandfather, becoming head priestess. Ami was in pre-med. in Tokyo's top university. Everyone's life seemed to be going in the direction they wanted.

Except where was she? Stuck, expected to maintain the burdens of being a future queen and protector. Destiny had seemed to disintegrate her life in between, life after saving the world, life before building the new one. Despite the world's intentions for her, Usagi had somehow unconsciously rejected this reality and she began to revolt, seeking solitary comfort instead of being the crybaby and constantly seeking reassurance. She withdrew from her friends and began to contemplate other options for her current life.

She would not abandon her duty, it was a fundamental piece of her heart, so Usagi continued to lead the scouts and protect Earth. Though, in her private world, Usagi coveted that which the others would not be allowed influence over….her love.

When Mamoru left for America, before departing he had presented her with a ring. In the beginning she had thought it cute, perhaps even pretty in the right lighting. She pictured it as a representation of their love, thus she adored it immensely. Mamoru didn't know it, but he had disappointed her.

He did not propose before he left, did not even act as if it the year apart would be difficult for him. As if he was confident that they had all the time in the world, he acted like the future together would enable him to do as he pleased now. Evidently what pleased him was leaving her behind with nothing but a ring and a short kiss devoid of passion.

What everyone failed to realize was that they expected to Usagi to carry on without them, always faithful to the future, always bearing in mind who she was in the past and years ahead who she'd be. That wasn't Usagi.

Usagi loved to eat and play video games. She loved to read manga and magazines. She loved passion and romance. She loved music and fashion. She loved laughing and tried to give the world a smiling face. She lived in the _present._ She loved today, wasn't wrapped up in yesterday or dreaming of tomorrow. She loved right now.

As her eyes fluttered open in shock she realized one thing she loved even more than all of that. She loved Seiya.

So what did fate have to say about it?


	2. Chapter 2

Note to readers: Decided to stick with Japanese names for now. Sections flanked by **** are flashbacks, also words in italic are Usagi's thoughts. Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing. I'm delighted you're enjoying it. I recently watched the entire show and read the manga again and it is really helping, though I really wish they would remaster it like they've done with several other series.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon; some quotes are excerpts from the Episode 55 English Dubbed Version with my own modifications, no copyright infringement intended. The author and animators created a wonderful series and deserve full credit.

' _What do I want?'_

As that thought passed through Usagi's mind it brought forth a memory she had attempted to bury long ago, but despite her efforts, it had become her desperate motivation all these years. Thoughts flooded, fresh through her mind, taking her back to that moment in the doorway.

" What do you want?" _Why wouldn't he look at me?_

"I wanted to apologize. I was so happy to see you I didn't even notice that you were in a bad mood." _The forced smile crept along my face; I shut my eyes so they wouldn't betray me. _

"No, no. That's not it." _An idiotic question slipped through my lips. _"What?"

"I just don't have the same feelings for you anymore."

"But, Mamoru…. I promise I'll study harder in school, really, ok?" _My smile began to crack as I realized everything my friends said were lies; there was no other option. _

"Don't make me say it again. Our relationship is over!" _I couldn't stop the flinch from the bite in his words, for the first time I was thankful he wouldn't even open his eyes to look at me. _

"Why don't I… believe you? You can't have forgotten h-how you were Prince Mamoru and I was Princess Usagi. Well, it's our destiny. Well, even if we weren't meant to be together, well, it just feels right being together doesn't it?" _The stutter was only making it more painful, so embarrassingly painful. _

"I don't want to hear any more! Why should my whole life be guided by what happened to us in the past? I…." _His teeth bared, fist visibly pulsing with tension. He had to look up at that moment, the moment my heart broke. His timing had always been perfect._

_Tears glittered in my eyes. I saw her shoes then. _"Chibi-Usa's here isn't she? I-I know she's just a little kid and all, but I feel like she's replaced me somehow."

"Don't be silly." _Don't you know me at all? _

"You're right, I'm sorry Mamoru. I guess we weren't meant to be together after all." _I turned and cracked the door open, sliding through and escaping the darkened doorway._

As Usagi's mind resurfaced she began to breathe short, gasping breaths. Her fists clenched around her sides, as if they were all that was left; the shredded pieces of her hanging barely together.

_Years_, an enormous amount of time spent wasted on the petty aspirations of a teenage girl. Years that had stolen her innocence, years that had pillaged her life as Usagi Tsukino. She had wasted years on Mamoru.

Time and time again he had destroyed her. From the very beginning, that crossing on the street, he insulted her. Then, he proceeded to indulge Rei, one of her closest friends and win her over to his relentless name-calling. Even when he helped rescue the scouts he stayed distant and was unable to protect the Earth, leaving it up to her to pick up the pieces he left behind.

His mind succumbed to Queen Beryl's influence; several attempts to kill Usagi on her behalf were made. He lost his memory in the rebirth that Usagi had risked her life to grant with the silver imperial crystal whose powers could potentially kill the user. He paid special attention to Usagi's scheming classmate and potential alien nemesis Anne. The visions he experienced during the time of the Nega-Moon's threat made him all too eager to break up with Usagi after finally recovering his memories. He had been relentless in his lies. When the Dark Moon Circus threatened all life on their planet, he lay in bed too weak to help her defend their world, and, finally, the ultimate betrayal, when he decided to leave her for America.

Her relationship with Mamoru had always been difficult, and there never seemed to be anything that bonded them together save for their roles of protectors of the universe. How could she say she loved him when all he ever did was make her cry?

A buzzing in her pocket interrupted her thoughts. She flipped open her phone to see an alarm for a message from Mamoru. He requested her company for dinner tomorrow night, but Usagi slipped her phone back into her pocket without replying. She could afford to leave him no answer for a while, her passive aggressive nature beginning to show. _ Let him wonder. _Her thoughts resonated.

It was not as if Usagi hated Mamoru, but he had become a symbol of everything her she was fighting against. He was a physical embodiment of her destiny, the thief that stole her freedom. She never imagined it could make like so mundane, so pointless and repetitive it seemed. Always knowing where you should end up…

Most people would not pin Usagi as the contemplative type, but with so many problems swarming she couldn't move, bogged down by the weight of it all. What she wouldn't give for a relief, for some fun, to _live_ again.

At that exact moment a particular figure walked by, long black hair trailing behind. Usagi's breathe escaped quickly. _Typical, just so typical! I came here to collect myself and just end up taking a jog down memory lane. Once again, I'm unprepared._

She shut her eyes hoping to turn invisible as she heard the footsteps grow closer, as if he had turned around, and was now approaching. She couldn't bare it any longer though, and soon her lashes parted as she searched the hallway for him.

Blue collided with blue as the two stared into each other eyes. Silence ensued.

Seconds became minutes, minutes turned into eternity.

She turned to run, she'd crawl if she had to in order to escape this purgatory. When he looked at her she felt his eyes see right through her, to the deepest parts she was careful to always hide. The parts that were beginning to believe in fairytales.

_All the stories say it is the moon and the stars, in the deep abyss of space that give each other company. It is the stars that illuminate the sky for the moon, and the moon that stirs the oceans of Earth. So, if given the choice, which would the moon choose? A relationship in which all it does it give, or one that lights up life, the one that seemed natural. _

Humans, particularly ones from this planet had a reputation of making mistakes and harboring arrogance. The moon however was always known to be humble, and the stars even more so. They were what caused one to wonder beyond the skies.

"Odango…." The spell was broken. The world began to feel so loud it might burst Usagi's eardrums. She winced in pain.

"Sieya, how are you?" Nonchalance had never been her forte.

"I'm ok, it's been awhile…."

"Too long." Usagi smiled inside as his eyes widened.

"I'm sorry." He breathed.

"Your return…. I wasn't expecting that." _Which of course was true, I was surprised when I learned of your arrival. Why did you come back?_

"My mission on Kinmoku was complete. Pluto informed me of another need that I must fulfill." His eyes fell to the ground.

"It is good to hear you are on better terms with the outer soldiers. Welcome back," Usagi reached up to hug him around his neck. It never made sense. How could she have such long legs but always be so much shorter than everyone else? Those thoughts were silenced when he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her up off the ground. He proceeded to spin, a huge grin plastered on his face.

When was the last time anyone had ever been so excited to see her?

And, when has she ever been this happy?


End file.
